He Wasn't
by Katryna Black
Summary: RLxHG... Random fluff.
1. I Wanted You To Know

Bored much?  Yes, yes I am.

Inspired a little bit by Sandra E.'s Lupin's Symposium.  I am now officially a shipper.

Two things I didn't like about the movie's Lupin: 1) The sweaters and 2) the mustache.  Hermione didn't like them either.

RL and HG © J.K. Rowling

There were some things about him that I had given up on changing. I was still trying with the sweaters.  
  
But the mustache (can it be called that?)... the mustache had to go NOW or I'd never kiss him again. A lie, but it was nice to see him squirm anyhow.  
  
I caught him by surprise. He was lying on the couch reading a book. It must have been a good book, because he didn't even look at me as I walked in. Only glanced up when I straddled his hips.  
  
Screamed in surprise as I grabbed the book from him and began to spread the shaving lotion I had in my hand on his upper lip.  
  
He protested my actions and struggled beneath me. He froze when I brought the razor to his skin. What a ninny, afraid of getting a little scratch!  
  
I smiled at my work after I wiped the remaining foam from his face. I gently ran a finger over the now smooth skin. He spread his arms wide and closed his eyes in defeat.  
  
"I'm wounded..." he whined and I couldn't help but giggle. "Only a kiss from a fair maiden can heal me!" I rolled my eyes at his attempt for romanticism.  
  
"But not just any maid-" I cut him off by leaning forward and pressing my lips against him. He tasted a little like shaving lotion. His arms reached up and pulled down my upper body until I was lying fully on him. I broke the kiss and rested my head under his chin. We lay there for a few minutes, his hand lightly stroking my hair and me tracing random circles on his chest.  
  
"Silly Hermione," he whispered, burying his face in my hair. "Why do you keep trying to change me?"  
  
He said it with a smile, but I knew his words were full of hurt. I knew the answer, plain and simple. But I was afraid to say it- This man had enough sadness in his life.  
  
Logic got the best of me: He needs to know. It's not fair if he doesn't.  
  
"You're not what I want," I said, burying my face in his neck. I didn't want to see his eyes after I said that. My lips brushed against his skin as I finished, "But I need you anyway."  
  
His hand gripped my hair and gently pulled my head until my face was hovering over his. I didn't look in his eyes. Not that it mattered, since he reached up and kissed me and both our eyes closed. His hand held my head in place so that I couldn't break away (I had no plans of doing so).  
  
He words came out in small gasps, with his lips still touching mine.  
  
"As long as you need me."


	2. I Love the Way You Laugh

I have mentioned random, right? Because… random. This has nothing to do with the short from before. And it will have nothing to do with the short that comes after this. Random. Chaos.

Disclaimer: Not mine, not making any money off of this.

* * *

I'm not sure when it started, or when it came to the point where I could barely look at him without becoming short of breath. But it did start, and very quickly it reached _that_ point.

It was impossible to believe that my former professor, my former mentor, could cause such… _scandalous_ feelings and thoughts inside me. Soon, I didn't even have to have him in sight. Just the mere mention of his name would send me into a dizzy state of mind where I could barely function normally.

Remus Lupin.

Avoidance seemed to be the best precaution to prevent my feelings from becoming public. When he came in the room, I left. Politely, as politely as my intoxicated state would allow me. When he spoke, I responded with short, monosyllabic answers to prevent my tongue from tying itself into knots.

I'd like to think that he was the only one who noticed. That would have been nice, pleasant even. Even more pleasant if he hadn't noticed. But, he did. As he always noticed those little things about everyone.

"Why don't you talk to me, Hermione?" His voice was soft, hurt. I stared at a spot on the floor behind him, knowing that if I looked in his eyes I wouldn't be able to hold my ground.

"I know how you feel," he said slowly, deliberately. My heart stopped and my lungs tightened in my chest, refusing to inhale. He couldn't possibly mean....

"About me," he added, lowering his face so that I was looking at him instead of the floor. My eyes locked onto his and followed them as he straightened back up. A familiar heat rose in my chest and crawled up to my face. I stared, memorized by his eyes. It took me a while to realize that he had been speaking.

"What?" I questioned, knowing that I had not heard a word he had said.

He sighed patiently. "I said, Because of my position, of whom I am and who you are... I can never touch you." Not realizing what I was doing, I took a step towards him. "I can never return you embrace." Another step. "I can never make the first move." He was mere inches from me. "I can never say those words to you." I could smell the chocolate on his warm breath. "Do you understand?"

Perfectly.

I leaned forward, wrapping my arms around his neck. I pressed my body up against him. He clutched the desk he was leaning against, burying his face in my hair.

"But God, I want to."


End file.
